Wedding ceremony layout: the complete guide

There are three basic shapes for a ceremony, and your choice really comes down to three things: how many guests you have, what the venue allows, and the feeling you want to create. That same choice also shapes your photos, so it's worth giving it some real thought.

With classic rows there are two blocks of chairs with an aisle between them. The atmosphere is ceremonial, formal and familiar, and this layout scales effortlessly from sixty to a hundred and fifty guests or more. For the photos, it gives you that iconic shot of your walk down the aisle. The downside: from the third or fourth row, guests mostly see the backs of heads, and it's hard to capture people's reactions on their faces. Ideal in a church, a grand hall or a neat field.

With a semicircle or fan, the chairs curve in an arc around you, usually still with an aisle. Everyone looks slightly inwards, sees you and each other's faces, and that instantly makes it warmer and more intimate. This shape is at its best with thirty to eighty guests. For the photos it's a gift: tears, smiling eyes and emotion come out beautifully. You do need a bit more width than for straight rows.

In the round or in a horseshoe (U-shape), you stand in the middle or at the open side, with guests around you. This is the most embracing, intimate shape and works best with twenty to fifty guests. You turn a little during the ceremony so everyone sees your faces in turn. For the photographer it's dramatic and challenging, because there's always a side that sees your backs, and the officiant has to stand cleverly to one side. So this layout needs a bit more direction, but the reward is a feeling of truly being together.

For the aisle: keep it at least 1.2 metres wide, so two people side by side can fit through with a dress. Around ninety centimetres of legroom between rows is comfortable, and put the front row about two to two and a half metres from where you'll stand. That leaves room for the officiant, the signing table and the photographer, and the front doesn't look cramped.

The order of entrance is less set in stone than you'd think. You'll find the classic sequence below, but see it as a template you're free to adapt. You can just as well walk in together.

A word on walking down the aisle: traditionally it's the father who walks the bride down the aisle. For many couples that ‘giving away’ no longer feels right. More and more often you walk in together, or each of you is accompanied by your own parents, a warm and equal choice. There's no right or wrong: choose the form that suits your relationship.

And then the exit. After the ‘I do’, you walk back down the aisle first as a couple, followed by the witnesses and the parents, and then the rest of the guests. This is the moment for confetti, petals, bubbles or a guard of honour. Do check with the venue beforehand whether that's allowed, as not everything can end up on the floor everywhere.

Children make a ceremony lively and moving, but they do need a little direction. With a few small preparations, it runs smoothly and stays relaxed.

Have flower girls, page boys or a ring bearer? Keep their walk short, rehearse it once, and have a parent waiting at the end of the aisle to catch them. Give them a basket of petals or a cushion with (fake) rings, so nothing can really get lost on the way.

Have children of your own? Involve them in a meaningful way: a family promise, lighting a candle together, or a small gift or medal during the ceremony. That way it becomes a moment for your family, not just for the two of you.

A few simple choices prevent restlessness. If possible, plan the ceremony outside nap times, keep it shorter if there are lots of little ones, and set up a children's corner at the back with colouring sheets, quiet toys and perhaps a babysitter. Seat families with young children on the aisle or at the back, so they can easily nip outside.

And above all, let guests know that a crying baby really isn't a disaster. A warm word beforehand, for example that children are very welcome, instantly takes the pressure off parents.